An interesting study on the effects of caffeine...

Note to Readers:  As I mentioned earlier, this a transcript from the DB Genesis RPG.  Mark is Bardock and I'm Turles and also Oritsu (you'll understand, just read it).  If you wanted to reach Mark, his aol screen-name is Spydragon69.  Being that this is from an rpg, it has really has nothing to do with any of my fanfiction, but it is fairly amusing.  Testament to this is the massive amount of hits this thread got when DB Genesis was still up and running and I was still allowed to have a fan-created character (sighs).  Anyway, feel free to contact either Mark or I if you have any questions or comments about this.  Enjoy!

It is a distinct possibility that Mark and I might try to continue this on our own, and in fact I would like to do that, but don't hold your breath for updates.

Bardock walks back into the cafe shop waiting for his friend Turles.

Turles swaggers into shop carrying a flower pot and tiny pink plastic watering can. "Why hello there, Bardock."

"What's the flower pot for?" asked Bardock.

"My new plan for universal domination," Turles replies with a grin. "Rooting the Tree of Might on Earth wasn't a fool-proof idea, but with this Ever-Expand flower pot (direct from, supplies limited) I can carry the tree with me anywhere I like."

He blushes and shuffles nervously in is seat. "Besides, we--I mean the Tree and I--have sort of bonded."

Turles suddenly disappears in a flurry of armor, clothing, and latex skin. Bardock shoots out of his chair, knocking a bewildered waitress out of the aisle and headfirst into the jukebox, which mysteriously lights up and starts to play. Eerie piano music, the sort always heard when something decidedly evil (or just plain silly) is going to happen starts to drift from the machine.

Bardock, his coffee and most importantly his confusion over the sexually ambiguous remarks his friend Turles has just made, gapes at the figure standing boldly across the table from him. "What the.....," he mutters to himself.

The table rocks precariously as the stranger jumps on top of it. Hands planted on wide, decidedly female hips, the young woman grins victoriously at the gaping Saiyan standing below her (if she hadn't jumped up onto the table Bardock would be the one looking down on her, and that just wouldn't do). "Ha ha!" she crows, shaking a massive wealth of blood-red hair from her eyes. "You fell for my ploy! I claim this coffee shop as my own!"

"Huh?" One eyebrow hitching upwards, Bardock stares at this odd newcomer in mingled confusion and annoyance. "Who the heck are you, and what happened to Turles?"

The young woman throws back her head and laughs loudly. Several of the coffee shop patrons successfully manage to free the weakly struggling waitress from the jukebox, which is still playing loudly. "I'm Oritsu, master of the most powerful band of space pirates in the universe!" the woman standing on the table shouts over the din. "Turles is--," she thrusts one hand in Bardock's direction, a small ball of bluish white ki forming in the small palm. The Saiyan immediately tenses and drops to fighting stance in response. She releases the ball of ki, which flies harmlessly and purposefully over Bardock's shoulder and into the jukebox, which instantaneously explodes (the waitress and the other coffee-drinkers have made it to relative safety behind the bar). Oritsu nods happily, her hand returning to its former position on her hip. "There, much better, that music was way too dramatic, don't you think?"

Bardock relaxes his stance and the people sheltering behind the bar nod their heads at each other in unanimous agreement. This chick was weird, but at least she had the good taste to nix the annoying mood music. "So...Oritsu, where is Turles?" Bardock asks.

"Oh yes. Turles," a wicked grin spreads across her features. "Turles is my subordinate, my second-in-command to be correct. When I heard about this tournament, I wanted to participate. One of us needs to be in the ship at all times, so Turles had to stay."

Eyes shifting pensively from side to side, Bardock looks the petite redhead up and down. "And you wore a disguise....why?"

Her expression suddenly darkens, her eyes narrowing into cold blue slits. "You Saiyans think you're sooo cool. Never want to include anyone else in your fancy tournaments." She hooks a foot beneath the flowerpot, which has somehow managed to stay on the table through all the commotion, and sends it flying through the air. It shatters loudly against the wall behind the bar, and the staff and customers shrink back behind the counters again. "Turles gets an invite, but do I? No!" Her lips purse into a pout and she stomps loudly on the table, which groans beneath the force.

Bardock blinks and shakes his head, a grin teasing at the corners of his mouth. "Haven't you been looking around? Not all of the contestants are Saiyan."

Dark look fading, she cocks her head to the side and looks at him, a silent query in her eyes.  "Really?"

Bardock looked at the pirate model with great surprise. "So do you want to have a drink?" Surprised she sat down and ordered some nearby waitress to get her a drink. Bardock, still holding coffee, walked over too her. "So your going to participate, that's cool." She looked confused as her coffee arrived.

-coo you have a girl character now yay. *looks at her.

Oritsu takes her coffee from the waiter, who darts back behind the counter immediately afterwards in fear of being sent flying into some other electronic device. Oritsu blows the steam from her coffee and takes a sip.

"Thank you," she replies quietly, eyes rooted shyly on the tabletop. Her brow knots and she looks up at Bardock. "So, I don't have to take over this shop to get into the tournament?"

Bardock lets out a little laugh which Oritsu didn't look like she even knew what he was doing. He leaned over the table. "Nope." he said in her ear. She shot up and slammed her coffee on the table.

"Then lets go." she said.
"Where?" Bardock replied.
"The tournament of course, take me now!" She said with excitement.

Bardock finished his drink. "Alright." Bardock leaps out of the seat and runs out the door. The red haired girl followed him and both flew off toward the tournament grounds.

"You know you should do some Earth training first." Bardock insisted.

"Hmm. OK," she said stopping in the air.

Bardock thought about it then he realized. "Not with me."

"Who else?" she insisted getting closer.

Bardock turned around and saw that she was in front of him.

"You're not going anywhere," she said.

Bardock blinks. "Wha---" he has time to utter before Oritsu grabs hold of one of his wrists and shoots off in the direction of the arena. They land neatly outside of the giant fighting complex. A flurry of flashbulbs go off as excited fans milling around outside grab their cameras and excitedly take photos of the victor of match 2. Oritsu puts her arm around Bardock's shoulders and holds out two fingers, a goofy grin on her face.

"You see that? You just have to train with me!" she whispers to the Saiyan from behind a brilliant smile.

Bardock blinks, partially blinded from the flash of the cameras. "I really don't think that's a good idea," he whispers back in kind.

"Oh, why not?"

"Ok if you really want to train I can help." Bardock finally gave in.

She looked at him happily and got into fighting position. "Ready," she said.

"Ready," Bardock replied.

Both fighters soared toward each other colliding on impact. Oritsu threw a punch at Bardock's head which he easily moved away. Bardock grabbed her hand and tossed her over his shoulder. She flew through the air and sharply turned her body so that she landed on her feet. Her back was toward Bardock when Bardock flew at her, She quickly turned with her leg flying in the air. Bardock took the hit in the face as his body hit the ground sliding across the desert floor. Many fans from the stadium had gathered to see the fight.
"Looks like we have company," Oritsu said.

"Yeah, well I thought you wanted to be seen by people," Bardock replied as she rushed toward him again. Bardock jumped to the side nearly avoiding her attack. Bardock then began to mutter something under his breath. "Hitumishiguri ryu!" screamed Bardock as an energy Blade extended from his hand. The yellow blade glowed with power as Oritsu came flying for another attack. Bardock used his sword to block the blows from The red haired warrior. Bardock kept on the defense waiting to see what she would do next.

Oritsu's fists are a barely visible flurry of color as she sends them flying at the Bardock, who neatly blocks every blow with the blade of ki glowing in his hands. Ooohs, aaaahs, and the click of flashbulbs rise from the knot of people that are quickly forming a large circle around them.

Bardock suddenly kicks hard at the sand, pushing up a massive gritty wave between them. Oritsu instinctively shields her eyes with crossed arms, leaving her belly unprotected. Bardock takes the opportunity and Oritsu doubles over his knee as it rams upwards into her gut. "Gllarrgggghh," she manages to choke out before falling unceremoniously on her rump. Bardock steps back from her, energy sword dissipating, but no less aware and ready.

"You are good," Oritsu says, eyeing him appreciatively as she brushes sand from her clothing. "Rarely has Turles, or anyone else for that matter, caught me so unawares. I'm going to really look forward to fighting you for real in the tournament!" With that said, she rolls over backwards and onto her feet, slipping into fighting stance.

Bardock looks at her in fighting stance and gets into his. She rushes toward Bardock with quick speed, Bardock lowers his hands as the girl Punches him right in the gut. Bardock falls to the ground landing hard on his knee's.

"Very good," Bardock said falling face first in the sand.

"I'm just warming up," Oritsu replies with a short laugh as she launches herself up into the air. Bardock follows suit, joining her some 50 feet or so above the ground. Oritsu's figure begins to blur as she moves around him in a tight circle, phasing into view before him, behind him, on the sides, picking up speed as she goes.

Bardock closes his eyes so as not to be distracted by the afterimages, trying to focus on her ki and current location. A sudden heat surges past him, grazing his skin, and forcing him to open his eyes. A grinning afterimage of the redhead wavers before him.

"Gotcha." A crushing blow lands directly between his shoulder blades, knocking him from the air and towards the ground below. He manages to control the fall and lands in a crouch, driving a deep furrow in the ground and drenching the onlookers with sand.

Bardock pulls himself up looking at the female fighter slowly moving toward the ground.

"Ahh man I better try harder.. But, if I win I lose and if I lose I lose."

"I know your not giving me your best" she says to him from some distance in the air.

"So you noticed," he replied. She shot a wandering eye at him making him come closer and closer. The gaze was shortly cut off by the feeling of her foot smashing against his face. Bardock moved back a little as to dodge the next move. Bardock saw another opening in her constant wailings and exploited it. He kicked his foot straight into her ribs forcing her to exhale. He hammer fisted her down towards the ground mercilessly. He quickly followed her down the sky her red hair flying in the wind shimmering all the way down..


Bardock flew faster and got to the ground first he extended his arms to catch her when she suddenly turns upright. She starts rapidly throwing ki waves at the soldier. He jumps to the side avoiding the blasts which force the public to move back a few inches. Both fighters rushed toward each other each one blocking whatever the other dished out. That's when it all became clear she was the one that would push him on. With that Bardock went all out forcing her into the crowd who suddenly scrambled around the fighters.

*Very good,* he thought to himself as they both pressed on.

Mecha Frieza walked and sat in his usual spot and ordered a latte, dismissing all of the commotion on the other side of the coffee shop. Frieza continued to sit there sipping his latte and reading Sunday's paper on global warming, while not noticing the fight between Bardock and Oritsu.

People rush to scramble out of the way of the two grappling fighters as they shoot past. Oritsu's arms are a blur as she blocks Bardock's vigorous onslaught of fists and feet. She smiles broadly; he was putting more and more of himself into the battle. Things were going to get interesting.

Something grazes her elbow and she glances quickly at it only to see that the object is a small hotdog stand that has been sent a tumble by their passing. Bardock takes the opportunity to send a fist flying past her defenses, but she twists to the side and avoids the full on hit. Blood squirts briefly from a small scratch on her cheek.

"Ha, that's more like it," she says, and flips backward and away from him, landing lightly on her feet. They are now back in the plaza where the coffee-shop is located. Bardock dashes forward, one fist pulled back and ready to throw. Oritsu leaps over his head and lands upside-down in a handstand, arms crossed over, the heels of her palms together, fingers gripping a curb.

"Nice acrobatics," Bardock replies with a grin, "but that isn't going to save you." Grin widening, he phases out of view. Legs a blur to the eyes of passer-by (most of whom have prudently vacated the area or hid behind some large, relatively stable object) Oritsu spins around on her crossed hands, legs spreading and catching Bardock a staggering blow to the chest that sends him flying backwards through the front window of the coffee shop.

Mecha Frieza, now drenched in his latte (foam and evil do not mix), stands up and glares down at the Saiyan lying in the collapsed ruins of his table.

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